{"id":648,"date":"2012-09-07T12:11:28","date_gmt":"2012-09-07T17:11:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/?p=648"},"modified":"2012-09-07T12:11:28","modified_gmt":"2012-09-07T17:11:28","slug":"for-all-the-single-ladies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/2012\/09\/07\/for-all-the-single-ladies\/","title":{"rendered":"For all the single ladies&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/gracefortheroad.com\/2012\/02\/03\/idontwait\/\" target=\"_blank\">For all the single ladies&#8230;<\/a>don&#8217;t wait! Fall in love with Him. That is the goal &#8211; not waiting for something or someone to come.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<header>\n<h1>I DON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T WAIT\u00c2\u00a0ANYMORE.<\/h1>\n<div>Posted by\u00c2\u00a0<a title=\"View all posts by gracefortheroad\" href=\"http:\/\/gracefortheroad.com\/author\/gracefortheroad\/\">gracefortheroad<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0in <a title=\"View all posts in The Mercy\" href=\"http:\/\/gracefortheroad.com\/category\/the-mercy\/\" rel=\"category tag\">The Mercy<\/a><time pubdate=\"\" datetime=\"2012-02-03T00:16:44+00:00\">February 3, 2012<\/time><\/div>\n<\/header>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>When I was 16, I got a purity ring.<\/p>\n<p>And when I was 25, I took it off.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tell anyone I was doing it \u00e2\u20ac\u201d it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a statement or an emotional thing. I just slipped it off my finger that day and, before tucking it away in a box, ran my finger around the words on the familiar gold band.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153True Love Waits.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0<em>Waits<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it \u00e2\u20ac\u0153waiting\u00e2\u20ac\u009d for, anyway?<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>I had my reasons for deciding not to wear it anymore. Other people might have other reasons. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a graveyard of hearts, this place where single church girls crash into their late 20s and early 30s. Churches see the symptoms. They scramble to reach out to the ever-growing young adult singles crowd who feels alienated by family-oriented services.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something bigger behind it than that.<\/p>\n<p>Much bigger.<\/p>\n<p>There are a lot of girls out there who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know who God is anymore \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the God of their youth group years just isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t working out. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until they are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. They signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait.<\/p>\n<p>And wait they did.<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>And waited and waited and waited.<\/p>\n<p>Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t shown up. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard the advice to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve read \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lady in Waiting,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.<\/p>\n<p>And still they wait.<\/p>\n<p>More than a decade ago, a youth leader handed them a photocopied poem in Sunday School written to them from \u00e2\u20ac\u0153God\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The reason you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have anyone yet is because you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not fully satisfied in Me. You have to be satisfied with Me and then when you least expect it, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll bring you the person I meant for you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>And the girls see it posted on their bulletin boards from time to time.<\/p>\n<p>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re right, God,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d they say. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>But many of them \u00e2\u20ac\u201c if they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re honest \u00e2\u20ac\u201c will tell you that time has passed, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrecking their view of God.<\/p>\n<p>If this is who God\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposed to be, then He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tragically late.<\/p>\n<p>So some decide to chuck \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lady in Waiting\u00e2\u20ac\u009d out the window \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 and possibly their virginity with it. Church goes next. God might go next, too. If He doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t answer these prayers after they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?<\/p>\n<p>Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy happened back then.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>I had that poem on my bulletin board all through high school \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the one where \u00e2\u20ac\u0153God\u00e2\u20ac\u009d was telling me to fall in love with Him first and then I would be able to fall in love with a husband later.<\/p>\n<p>Who wrote that poem anyway?<\/p>\n<p>Pretty sure it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t God.<\/p>\n<p>When Jesus was here on the earth, the crowds would follow Him because they saw He gave good things. But that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not what He wanted. He wanted their hearts for Himself. So He would turn to them and say things like, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t love Me so much that every other relationship in your life looks like hate by comparison, you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t follow Me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (Matthew 10:34-39, paraphrase)<\/p>\n<p>That sounds a lot different from the poem.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Christ\u00c2\u00a0<em>is<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 but in telling people about Him, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s possible we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve sold them on a solution for life\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s problems and not\u00c2\u00a0<em>life<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0<em>itself<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If we had learned we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t abstain from sex because we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re \u00e2\u20ac\u0153waiting.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d We abstain because we love Him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had on my bulletin board, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fall in love with Jesus.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it. Bottom line. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wait\u00e2\u20ac\u009d so that one day I could give my everything to someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d learned that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t compute. It doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">It shows that while marriage is good, He is the greater goal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done this perfectly.<\/p>\n<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be deceiving you if you thought that. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had relationships where I made major mistakes. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve gone through angst-ridden phases where I met with friends to plead together with God to bring us husbands. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve planned major life decisions around possibilities.<\/p>\n<p>I lived like I was waiting for something.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s why I slipped off my ring that day. It wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that I wanted to sleep with people \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. It wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a slap to True Love Waits, or to anyone who wears a purity ring \u00e2\u20ac\u201c saving sex for marriage\u00c2\u00a0<em>is<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0good and is His design.<\/p>\n<p>I just didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to wait anymore \u00e2\u20ac\u201c didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.<\/p>\n<p>I already have Him \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 and <span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>He is everything<\/strong><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Follow Christ for His own<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0<em>sake, if you follow Him at all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c J.C. Ryle<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have. If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wait\u00e2\u20ac\u009d so that one day I could give my everything to someone else. If I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d had on my bulletin board, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fall in love with Jesus.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it. Bottom line. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":652,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,21,4],"tags":[34,32],"class_list":["post-648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ponderings","category-think","category-what","tag-discipleship","tag-thankful","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/allthesingleladies-e1347037699257.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1xumr-as","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=648"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pambhm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}