1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be toÂ immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. There is nothing worse than that moment during anÂ argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to napÂ when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Really, how ARE you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.Â I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they toldÂ you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind ofÂ tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes aÂ moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going toÂ do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes afterÂ Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection …Â again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of WordÂ and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-pageÂ technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will neverÂ wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?Â Hello? Shoot!), but when I immediately call back, it ringsÂ nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after IÂ didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good andÂ then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What aÂ waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so IÂ know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any givenÂ Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller LiteÂ than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I wasÂ younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going onÂ when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry ten over-loaded plastic bagsÂ in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’mÂ trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line betweenÂ boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” beforeÂ you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear orÂ understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line ofÂ cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.Â Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? PantsÂ never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me, or do high school kids get dumber andÂ dumber every year?
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’reÂ sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back aÂ little too far.
30. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutiveÂ times and still not know what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locatingÂ their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, andÂ Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’ll bet everyone canÂ find and push the snooze button from three feet away, inÂ about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!